Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sherry - OH!

NOTE: To thoroughly enjoy this post, listen to this cheesy midi while reading.

In what I thought would be a Light ThunderJournaling day, I am truly blessed to have found this:

Prosecutors have dropped charges that a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him

Wait for it... Wait for it...

a sherry enema,

No no no no no - it gets better:

leading to alcohol poisoning.

Talk about being drunk off your ass!

Tammy Jean Warner, 45, now of Texas City, had been scheduled to go on trial next Monday on a charge of negligent homicide. It was the sixth trial date set for the case.

Court records state that the case was dismissed Aug. 31 due to insufficient evidence.

Apparently the bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream sticking out of the corpse's butt at the crime scene was just not enough.

Warner's husband, Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop operator, died at their Lake Jackson home on May 21, 2004. An autopsy report said he had been administered an enema with enough sherry to get a blood alcohol level of

Wait for it... Wait for it...

0.47 percent. That is almost six times the level that can lead to a driving while intoxicated charge.

Warner told the Houston Chronicle that her husband had been addicted to enemas since he was a child. She said he often used alcohol in that manner to get drunk.

You'd think that someone who achieved such a clean rectum while getting shnockered at the same time, would look happier than this:

Perhaps he was in the process of - er - imbibing while...

Oh never mind.

Neither Warner's attorney nor Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne could be reached for comment.

Because they were laughing their non-sherry-bottle-plugged asses off.

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