Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Decades-old joke becomes reality

This story bounced around the net last week, so naturally the Strib picked it up yesterday, and I'm writing about it even later (back off, that's just how I roll).

But it still bears ridicule:
The Daily Telegraph in Sydney reported that those portraying Santa Claus in the nation's largest city must not use the Jolly Old Elf's traditional laugh because it could be offensive to women.

Instead, the Santas are being told, they should say "ha, ha, ha," the newspaper reported.
Which women, exactly, are going to be offended? The wh0res hanging out in Sydney shopping malls looking for business from Santa's elves?

Based on my extensive knowledge of Australia gleaned from repeated exposure to Mad Max and Monty Python sketches, I doubt it.

I'm thinking this is another product of the stupid ninnies who troll around the culture digging for the next traditional practice -- or feature of the language -- to be outraged by, all the while ignoring the horrible new outgrowths said culture is producing every day.
  • A reality show set in the Playboy mansion on a channel watched by mostly teenagers? No problem.
  • Hyper-sexualized -- in some cases hyper-bi-sexualized -- dating shows? Sounds fine to me.
  • A phrase that has been associated with Santa since the beginning of time Coca-Cola invented him and no one but a hypersensitive space alien without any sense of context could possibly misunderstand? You must be stopped!
Clearly, some people are hyper-accurate anti-barometers; when something bothers them or the nervous policymakers who enable them, you're almost always going in the right direction.

Offending these people is a good thing. Possibly even mandatory. So, don't be niggardly with the "Ho ho ho"s, Australian Santas. You're doing God's work, if not exactly Jesus'.

(Either way, stay away from those elf-baiting wh0res hanging out around your break room!)

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