Monday, November 12, 2007

Inside the Far Left-Wing DUMP (Drooling Unctuous Moronic Penisheads)

UPDATE 11/14: Welcome again Kossacks! And again I must admit to being more than a bit confused as to why the six or seven of you would read the dishonest ramblings of a former pornographer. I thought you people were supposed to be "progressive". Pornography exploits and objectifies women, leading to desensitization to rape and increased domestic violence. And Ken Weiner-Avidor was proud of his tenure at Screw Magazine.

In short, if you agree with Ken Weiner Avidor, you are not a good feminist.


NOTE: This is an exclusive KAR MultiFisk. KAR MultiFisks are reserved for only the most imbecilic brain turds of the moonbat fringe, containing stupidity too dangerous to be handled by only one ThunderJournalist. I am once again joined by Ryan Rhodes of [checking to see what today's name is] 10,000 Spoons, and our own resident misanthrope, the Head of Alfredo Garcia.

RYAN: The following link is what happens when somebody overgeneralizes about something they have absolutely no clue about and also happen to be a paranoid, reactionary cock-knob: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/11/10/114542/64]

WARNING: This post contains links to text and graphics on right-wing Republican blogs that may not be workplace-friendly or suitable for viewing by persons under the age of 18.

RYAN: That warning came from a guy who, if my understanding is correct, previously worked for a pinkie's up, monocle-only publication glamorously titled "SCREW Magazine." On Fark, this would warrant the "Ironic" tag.

FOOT: WARNING: Ryan's ass contains noxious gasses, poo residue and dingleberries that might not be suitable for for viewing by -

Arg. I just grossed myself out.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: (Spews chunks).

(Takes cell-cam, copiously films the spew slick).

Wow. Looks like Avidor's "art"!

They call themselves The Minnesota Organization of Bloggers or the MOB. They have close ties to the Minnesota GOP. Some of them are even linked on the MN GOP website.

FOOT: Some of them have children. Let's delve into this curious breeding culture in an exclusive Kos Diary expose'...

RYAN: I'm a fringe MOB member, and I have more ties to "SCREW Magazine" than I do to the Minnesota GOP. In other words, SOME MOBsters may have ties, while others don't. The MOB is not some political arm; it's a list of blogs that have authors who reside in Minnesota. That the list may tilt to the right is an indication it has better overall taste than the readership of, say, "SCREW Magazine."

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Or "Dump Bachmann", for that matter.

As mobs often do, the MOB attacks anyone who dares to to criticize any member of the MOB as well as their friends, associates and employers. The following is an example.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Really?

Who, in all of the past (counts fingers) four years has "the MOB" attacked?

Would Ken the Weiner have any links to "MOB attacks"?

FOOT: I will take this moment to remind our readers that this is a post on the Daily Kos attacking us and others for calling out Karl Bremer for playing the guilt by association game.

RYAN: To say nothing of the fact Avidor (as with many of his ilk) can't for the life of himself understand the difference between being "attacked," being "countered," and "being made fun of." They are crucial gradients, to be sure, but for him it's always "BEING ATTACKED." Alp, alp, ee's bein' attacked!

Project much? Here would be a good place to play our first...






Recently, a blog in good standing with the MOB called Anti-Strib

FOOT: I call on Mitch Berg, Brian Ward and Bananaman to declassify the secret list of MOB blogs Not in Good Standing, that obviously exists given Avidor-Weiner's use of an official sounding tone implying as much!

RYAN: In Good Standing? I know Foot already chimed in on this, but it's just sooooo stupid, and sooooo indicative of Avidor's complete ignorance of what the MOB even is. Hell, I'm in "good standing" with the MOB, and my main contribution in five years of blogg. . .er. . ThunderJournaling has been to circulate a picture of my own butt. Therefore, Kenny Boy, you get your next:

















FOOT: I bet you're listed as a "Blog in Good Squatting," Ryan.

published a virulently racist screed. The following is from an op-ed by Karl Bremer in the Daily Mole:

[Quote of Bremmer's brain turd omitted]

FOOT: You're welcome.

Karl Bremer, a constituent and critic of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann...

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: ...not to mention homophobic shitheel.

Did the Weenie mention that?

No?



was also a guest on former Star Tribune reporter Eric Black's blog this week.

FOOT: Objection! Irrelevant.



THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Overruled - behavior consistent with a narcissistic traffic whore. I'll allow it.

And isn't it interesting that - a month after Eberly's piece - suddenly Karl Bremer is getting breathless 24/7 coverage in the local Sorosphere?

And by "interesting" I mean "Who's Cracking the Whip On These Hamsters?"

This was apparently too much for the some members of the MOB. Some of the MOB went to battle stations and fired off some nasty posts about Karl Bremer, Eric Black, Dump Bachmann blogger Eva Young and myself.

FOOT: "Battle stations". Heh. Blogger Weiner is just jealous and livid because I totally pwn3d his little dumpster buddy. And you know that I pwn3d him because his piece was mentioned in the Bloghouse while mine wasn't. Tim O'Bonermort usually only quotes righties if he can rip their words out of context to embarrass them. O'Bonermort's omission can only mean that that post of mine was all kinds of win.

Well, that plus the fact that all I really needed to do was add context, point out one fact that Bremmer had included in his post yet seemed to continually ignore, and give a rote recitation of partnership law. Easiest fisk I ever did.

OK. I promise not to use the "word" "pwn" anymore. Sorry.

RYAN: Who the hell is this Avidor guy, anyway? He can't handle "nasty posts?" You! Avidor! Out of the Internet! If you can't endure nastinesss online without whining to your circle jerk "e-friends" at DailyKos, you really have no business being online. I've had collosal comment war discussions where insults were wielded like literary Molotov cocktails. Online insults carry about as much weight as a feather on the moon. If you actually let them get to you, you're a an "e-pussy." When it comes to having a spine, apparently, Ken once again gets a rating of:





















FOOT: That is an awesome FAIL.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: I think I saw something like it in Screw Magazine. Only it wasn't a baby carriage. Or a baby.

Here is a post from MOB blogger Learned Foot... which links to another MOB blogger "Swiftee" with this artistic creation.

FOOT: Objection! Irrelevant!

RYAN: Overruled for sheer bizarreness. I want to see how many links it takes him to connect you to Kevin Bacon.

FOOT: Mmmmm....Bacon...

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Or Kevyn Burger. Mmmm, Burger.

Here's another masterpiece of Swiftee, a former candidate for the Saint Paul School Board whose real name is Tom Swift. The MOB boss, Mitch Berg is big fan of Swiftee.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: And Berg thinks Avidor is a dink. Avidor finishes behind Swiftee. What does that tell you?




Seriously - Weener's cojones have retracted into his abdomen because Mitch Berg says Swiftee is a better cartoonist?

Weiner's gotta go up a ways to get to "e-pussy".

That's the spirit that got us to the moon, and made Screw magazine America's best-loved pr0n outlet, Weenie.

Some people will argue that this is to be expected in the "world wild web". I do a fair amount of Photoshop and You Tube satire myself and I support the right of the MOB bloggers to publish anything protected by the First Amendment.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Mighty big of ya, sport. The First Amendment is being watched over by the military, the SCOTUS, the ACLU, and...Ken Weener, failed pr0n-mag "art editor".

I sleep more soundly knowing this.

FOOT: WARNING: The following excerpt contains contains tortured logic, side-splitting irony and misapprehensions of reality that are so twisted and delusional that it may not be workplace-friendly or suitable for viewing by persons who possess more than 3 brain cells.

But, the difference is that nearly all the MOB bloggers support right-wing, fundamentalist Christian, "pro-family" Republicans.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Ryan? You're supposed to "lay hands" on other people, not yourself.

What kind of fundamentalist are you?

RYAN: What a total load of shit.

The MOBsters support candidates like Michele Bachmann and organizations who are pro-censorship and campaign against the free speech protection for sexual language and art.

RYAN: Eat, bite, suck, buck, gobble, nibble chew. Nipple, bosom, hairpie, fingerbang, SCREW! That was me campaigning against free speech for sexual language. I'm such an anti-MOBster.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Oooh! Can I play? "I thought I saw the name Ken Avidor among those arrested with Larry Craig for cruising MSP airport bathrooms for anonymous sex. I could be wrong, but Avidor's behavior and comments seem oddly similar in both form and content to Craig’s"

I'm edgy!

I AM AN ARTIST!

FOOT: Dirty Dave - HA! Remember "Barnacle Bill the Sailor Man?"

The ACLU is a favorite target of the MOB... and yet, a MOB blog like Anti-Strib has a regular feature called "Hot Chick Fridays" and recently featured a graphic of two "hot chicks" making out on top of a stack of beer kegs... this from a bunch that routinely condemns gays and lesbians.

RYAN: Oh, swoon and forsooth, we do so enjoy attractive eye candy. Guilty as charged. And I have never condemned gays and lesbians in my life. Gosh, I've even allowed my future wife's gay dad to routinely visit the house, and I don't even follow him around with a Swiffer to catch all his sloughed off gay skin cells or anything. And I've gone to his gay house countless times and swam in his gay pool with his gay boyfriend. As for the rest of the MOB, the only "condemning" I've seen going on is a debate over "gay marriage vs. civil unions." Avidor can take all this "condemning" talk and shove it up his butt sideways. As for "Hot Chick Fridays," a former art director for SCREW magazine doesn't have much in the way of believability when it comes to declaring outrage in this area. Captain Avidor, may I suggest you take the helm and declare:
















FOOT: Michele Bachmann is for speech codes and hate crime legislation? Who Knew?

Not Avidor-Weiner:



I'd be interested in knowing exactly what "pro-censorship" and "anti-free speech" legislative initiatives Bachmann has championed. I'm sure Weiner will take the opportunity to use this challenge to issue some off-topic non-sequitur response, which will merely earn another FAIL.

FOOT: I also think that Ken hates black people. I, of course have no proof of this, but when you play the game on their home court, mere allegations are enough.

I wonder if he got syphilis from that prostitute he hasn't denied sleeping with? Developing...

It's fun being evil!

The Republican Party of Minnesota will host the National Republican Convention in Saint Paul next year.

RYAN: Hey, that looks like a fact. What's that doing in this pile of bullshit?

It be interesting to see if the MN GOP will continue their close association with the MOB

RYAN: Close association? I had no idea I was so close to the movers and shakers in the MN GOP. The next time I post about taking a huge poop on my ThunderJournal, I'll be sure to wear a suit and tie, lest Pawlenty's reading.

FOOT: It will be interesting to see if the DFL and Michele Bachmann's next opponent will continue (start?) their close association with former porno mag editors...

or will they be celebrating "Hot Chick Friday" with the MOB at Keegan's Pub during the convention?

FOOT: Weiner-Avidor is just jealous because there were never any hot chicks in Screw Mag.

THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Or at least that's what the real editor told him...


RYAN: I'm trying to envision the kind of woman who would appear in Screw Mag, and instead of FAIL, I'm left with:





















FOOT: Hee. I hope this FAIL thing takes off, just like "ThunderJournal" did.




THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Bwahahaha!




Maybe we need something special for Ken Weiner:

Perfect!

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