Monday, November 05, 2007

The Kinks Can Teach Us a Lot About Why NonMonkey Should Ditch Springsteen and Listen to Iron Maiden

Feelin’ guilty, feelin’ scared, hidden cameras everywhere
Stop! hold on. stay in control --The Kinks

Stop! Hey - what's that sound? Bruce heps NonMonkey to what's goin' down:

Trust none of what you hear
And less of what you see.

The lines are from the title track of Bruce Springsteen's new album, "Magic," and are full of dread and warning.

Springsteen, 58, is a year older than I am, but he has more hair and money and can sing. He and I once belonged to a generation that didn't trust anyone over 30. Now we don't trust anybody. Period. And we are right.

One of Springsteen's new tunes is "Livin' In the Future," a bleak vision of ill winds, blood, "faith torn asunder" and "righteousness going under."My ship Liberty sailed away," he sings, "on a bloody red horizon."

The only hope, as much a call to action as fervent prayer, is in the repeated refrain: "None of this has happened yet."

Aaaand cue the chorus to that Kinks tune:

Paranoia, the destroyer. --The Kinks

The polls show Americans believe the country is going to hell in an SUV, so we know what Springsteen is talking about. We can't figure out how these things can be happening against our will: the torture, the erosion of rights, the corruption, the lies, the wars, and the neglect of the things that are important --

The truth? The substitution of talking points and accusations for fact?


the planet, the poverty, the hunger, the disease, the children, the future.

OK, those things are important too. I wonder how many of the impoverished hungry children Springsteen has fed?

Oh, hell, put aside Springsteen. How many has NonMonkey fed? I mean other than the scores that sprung from his own loins.


More importantly, we aren't sure what to do about it.

Indeed this has been a problem that has been plaguing us since the first day of the Bush administration mankind first started walking upright. Which inevitably begs that question so often uttered when afflicting your eyes with another NonMonkey brain turd:

What's his point?

I've never been a rock star groupie, and I've never seen Springsteen in concert. But I've always identified with his songs. They are about being proud of where you are from, being in love, trying to be a good father, trying to keep your self-respect in a world that would rob you of everything, about being an American and what that means. Or is supposed to mean.

And with that, I hope you will all join me in a rousing sing-along to one of the Boss' biggest hits about being proud of where you come from!

Cue cheesy midi music!

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Now you sing, Dementee!



Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says, "Son if it was up to me."
Went down to see my V.A. man
He said, "Son, don't you understand now."

Had a brother at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there he's all gone

He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Now here to run ain't got nowhere to go

Bring it on home to a big finish!

I'm a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.

Springsteen should be deported for even using the phrase "cool rockin' Daddy".

(Relax - I keed, I keed.)

I'm short on time. Let's jump down a bit:

"Magic" captures the sense many of us have that the country we love is slipping away, and the world we hoped to leave for our children is fading into despair.

"Who'll be the last to die for a mistake?" Springsteen asks in "Last to Die."Whose blood will spill, whose heart will break?"

It takes a truly creative genius to steal a line delivered by John Kerry 35 years ago.

We don't really need a celebrity to tell us what to think or how to feel about any of this. I know what I feel every time I snap off the TV or the radio so that I don't have to explain the unexplainable to the little boys that, due to accidents of birth, I find myself protecting.

Ryan? RYAN!!!! My internal censor isn't allowing me to comment on that last sentence. Help!

They are far too young, and I'm far too worried. And I'm not the only one.

Maybe that's why the belief swept the country this past week that Springsteen's new album had been blacklisted by Clear Channel, the huge media conglomerate that owns 1,200 radio stations, including seven in the Twin Cities. Clear Channel's right-leaning ownership has been accused of purging its play lists before, notably during the furor over remarks made at a Dixie Chicks concert before the Iraq war. Banning the Boss certainly sounded like something that might happen, but the company denied any effort to keep Springsteen's new album off the air.

I agree. Censorship is bad.

And with that, in order to wash the reality-detached paranoid ravings of both NonMonkey and the Boss from your brain, I offer you this mental high colonic.

An Aces High colonic as it were.

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