Friday, November 16, 2007

Moron Mail

It's been a while. Let's see if I remember how to do this...


STEP 1: Find moron:


How can Reps. John Kline and Michele Bachmann be so shortsighted ("35W bridge funds hostage to D.C. feud," Nov. 15)? Minnesota needs this funding, not only to rebuild the 35W bridge, but to prevent future bridge collapses.


The whole country's infrastructure is crumbling. If Republicans are such penny-pinchers that they won't invest to repair our own nation's infrastructure, even after Minnesota's recent tragedy, they should never win another election.


STEP 2: Find information that stands Moron's argument, such as it is, on it's head:


Kline and Bachmann, frustrated by what they see as runaway spending, said they have signed their names to a separate bill that would provide the $195 million in bridge money. It has received no backing from Democrats, who all supported the broader transportation bill.


STEP 3: Mock Moron mercilessly using moron's own tone and rhetorical gimicks:


How can Congressional Democratics be so shortsighted (Drooling Dipshit Writes Letter to Strib, Nov. 16)? Minnesota needs this funding, not only to rebuild the 35W bridge, but to prevent future bridge collapses!!!!!!!!!!! Omigod WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!


The whole country's intellectual infrastructure is crumbling. If Democratics are such profligate spenders that they can't bring themselves to vote for a clean bill to repair our own nation's infrastructure (as opposed to funding bike paths from Duluth to International Falls named after Robert Byrd), even after Minnesota's recent tragedy, they should never win another election.


STEP 4: Pose loaded rhetorical question in true lefty-blogger style:


Why do Congressional Democratics hate bridges?


STEP 5: Step back and admire own brilliance.


STEP 6: Stick a "boner" in Moron's name:

EFFETE BONER, MINNEAPOLIS


STEP 7: Insert FAIL





Today's FAIL courtesy of Sisyphus.

Yes, it's all coming back to me now...

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