Friday, November 16, 2007

Why won't they blow up?

Today I spent almost two hours pulling a corroded battery out of a car that clearly was designed to entomb its power source within its rotting corpse until the end of time. (Fricking Chrysler.) Besides the moronic design and the corrosion gluing everything together, I went slowly and carefully because I didn't want to complete the circuit and light myself up like a TFL (Tubby Fluorescent Light) bulb. I've got a wife and a kid, and I live a pretty good life, so I'd rather not turn myself into human cracklins.

Other people? Surprisingly, not so careful. Every few months we hear about a gas leak from an abandoned home that would have caused an explosion (or did). And now we have guys in the sewers cutting power lines to steal copper. (I bet that dude from the Xcel booth at the State Fair is pissed that he can't use that scenario to increase his imaginary body count.)

How are idiots like that still alive? Ignore this episode for the time being; how did they avoid, I don't know, burning their houses down because they thought their crown molding would work as a cheap heat source?

And if supremely stupid people like that don't get themselves killed, why am I worried about a little car battery? (Yeah yeah, blah blah physics blah blah...) It's not like I wish them harm or anything, but--no, wait, they're endangering the lives of people around them just to make a few bucks, and probably to support meth habits. Harm! Where were you when we needed you?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sulfuric acid to go play with.

By the way: Hi, I'm the Analog Kid. Just trying to get into the swing of things and figure out how to work "poop" and "boner" into my writing more consistently.

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