Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Let's all move to the country

Sometimes I'm pretty sure our civilization isn't going to last much longer. And given the carmageddon on the roads last night, I'm guessing I'm not the only one in the Twin Cities that feels that way. But would you believe my commute this morning was worse than last night's?

I always knew about half of the people here can't drive (everyone else reads this Thunderjournal, right?), but what I didn't realize fully is that a lot of them can't think for 2 seconds about what they're doing and what might happen because of it.

This morning's idiots:

  • A woman stopped at the end of an apartment driveway cleaning snow off her car. "Hmm. I can't see. Did I forget something?"
  • About 30 idiots who weren't smart enough to realize they couldn't see out of their back -- or in one case, God save us, their fucking FRONT -- windshield.
  • Several people jamming on their brakes on the highway. Happens in both rainy and snowy weather, and it tends to make me yell in the car.
  • Two morons walking in a busy street because they couldn't stand the idea of their shoes (or maybe their clothes) getting wet on an unplowed sidewalk. Meanwhile cars are dodging around them at 35-40mph. "Wet clothes or death? That's a toughie. OK, death please!"
  • Some jackweed in a Subaru who decided to stomp on the brakes at a light to stop 1-1/2 car lengths behind the car in front of him, causing me to activate my antilock brakes (and curse mightily).
  • School buses not using turn signals. Because when something that big points in a certain direction, their intent is clear, right? "What do you mean it's too late by then?" (Sidebar: are all of the Metro Mobility bus drivers either moronic or homicidal? Is there some sort of bonus system that encourages death-defying acts in heavy traffic, or is it an upper IQ limit set at just below the level at which one can comprehend any of the rules of the road?)

And lastly -- since by this time my blood pressure was spiking high enough to cause me to visibly inflate with each heartbeat -- the final idiot was probably me, for fishtailing around a couple of corners because I was so mad I wasn't looking ahead at anything but the red curtain falling across my eyes.

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