Thursday, December 27, 2007

Reopening Old Wounds: 2007 KAR-Style -- Part 2

Part 1


MARCH

3/1 -- KAR radio debut purposefully ignored by John Hinderaker. Foot resurrects N.A.A.P.A.L.M. confident he has a running gag that can last until 2008.

3/5 -- Foot scores tickets to The Police concert, writes haiku.

Internet revolutionized again as letter to Strib compared to salad poop.

3/6 -- In a post loosely based on Waiting for Godot, Bill digs pies out of the garbage, Dementee karaokes Unchained Melody and Bogus Doug magically appears. Presumably, the drugs wore off a short time later.

3/7 -- NAAPALM running gag forgotten.

3/8 -- Breaking the seal: after 2 long months, KAR finally posts its first Afternoon Delight video of the year.

3/9 -- Michael Brodkorb wins summary judgment in the defamation suit against him. Noted local management-side labor attorney gadfly proclaims that this decision confirms that Brodkorb's statements were defamatory.

3/12 -- In an effort to build consensus among the scientific community regarding the dire effects of Global Climate Change(TM), alarmists begin issuing death threats.


Much like Voldemort rising, the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy reconstitutes, only to be immediately discovered by Hillary Clinton. Ministry of Magic denies. (With secret message goodness.)

3/15 -- Dementee provides a clear-headed and even-handed analysis of the advantages and drawbacks of the Employee Free Choice Act without accusing anyone of being a Communist. Just kidding.

3/19 -- Introducing... FREAKY PURPLE SIGN DUDE!!! YAY!

3/20 -- KAR makes a play to get Atomizer. FAIL!

Moonchild attempts to injure himself for your amusement.


3/21 -- LearnedFoot loses his grandfather, finds very cool WWII pic of him, blows out his knee.

3/22 -- What do pharmacists who refuse to dispense birth control and The Rule Against Perpetuities have in common? Well, as it turns out, nothing.

3/23 -- Chad the Elder gets his own open thread to defend himself from an attack in a Brain Lambert column. In other news, as of March 2007, Brian Lambert apparently still had a column somewhere.

3/26 -- Clever and worldly Minneapolitan invents the gin and tonic.

3/27 -- The House of the Future will feature giant egg beaters, communal electric cars, and soylant green made from dead Floridians who drown in the great deluge that comes just before that one dude's cats die.

George Soros funds everything. Except for Minnesota Monitor.

3/28 --Fearing that the nanny state hasn't done enough, some dumb day care center bans legos.

3/30 -- Dementee calls for armed revolution coining a rallying cry repeated throughout the world: "FUCK PHYLLIS KAHN!"

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