Monday, December 03, 2007

A Tribute to Larry Craig

Several men have come forward claiming that they either engaged in the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name with Senator Larry Craig or were propositioned for same by him. Of course, that means it's a perfect time for an all-to-rare Patented KAR Parody Song.

Dedicated to Sisyphus, and sung to the tune of Carly Simon's "You're so Vain"; Cheesy midi for full effect:

You walked into the bathroom
Like you were walking into a bar
Your bag strategically placed in front of the door
You tapped your foot upon the floor
You had one hand under the divider
You were ready to cavort
But the guy next door didn't want to be your partner
Want to be your partner, cuz

You're so gay
You probably thought that nobody knew
You're so gay
I'll bet you thought that nobody knew,
Didn't you? Didn't you?

You had some twink several years ago
When you were still quite naive
Well, you said he had such a purty mouth
As he dropped down to his knees
But you gave it away when you got busted
In the lavator-ee-ee
I'll even bet that you drink mocha latte
Drink mocha latte, cuz

You're so gay
You probably thought that nobody knew
You're so gay
I'll bet you thought that nobody knew,
Didn't you? Didn't you?

Well I hear you went up to Coeur d'Alene
And you hit on some dude up there
Then you flew on out to Bogus Basin
To stare at a guy's derriere
Well, you're where you should be all of the time
And when you're not you're with
Some male prostitute or a cop in the bathroom
Cop in the bathroom, and

You're so gay
You probably thought that nobody knew
You're so gay
I'll bet you thought that nobody knew,
Didn't you? Didn't you?

***

And in case you were wondering: yes, the new KAR-spawned supergroup Massive Pantload will be performing this tune at the next MOB party. (With, perhaps, an encore)

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