Monday, January 07, 2008

Punting Toward Glory: 2007 KAR-Style -- The Finale (Abridged)

Part - oh hell, just scroll down.





SEPTEMBER



9/2 -- Foot proposes that no expense be spared when replacing 35W bridge; suggests equipping it with orgasm ray gun.


9/5 -- John Edwards and butt cheeks.


9/6 -- As it turns out, the editorial staff at new Uber-Blog True ("Post whatever you want, we will not censor it") North finds butt cheeks, orgasms offensive.


9/11 -- KAR discovers that all you really need to do to write poetry is to take regular prose and insert random line breaks. Who knew?


9/26 -- KAR publishes 1,000th post not suitable for True North.



OCTOBER

10/1 -- 1,001 and counting...


10/4 -- SHERRY ENEMA! KAR confident it has running gag that can last until 2067.

10/12 -- The onset of peace in the Middle East and cure for cancer having presumably been achieved, seriously disturbed and possibly autistic former porn editor takes offense at Mitch Berg's use of wikipedia. The Era of FAILed Weiner begins.

10/12 thru 10/17 -- ...and continues.

10/31 -- After 2 hours of work (roughly 1.75 hours more than a typical KAR post), Foot publishes epic Harry Potter Post to muted reaction. Foot eyes Sharpee on his desk, thinks about how it would make a sweet Horcrux.

NOVEMBER

11/7 -- King Banaiaiaiaiaiaian wins MOB Mayoral election having more votes, vowels than Atomizer.

KAR makes history again by being the first blog or ThunderJournal to commemorate the third anniversary of its founding with an adapted Iron Maiden video.

11/9 thru 11/15 -- The rest of the Dumpsters join former porn loser in a veritable festival of failure.

11/19 -- Stalkers? Yeah, we've got 'em.

DECEMBER

12/26 -- Foot begins Year in Review series.

12/27 -- Foot regrets starting Year in Review series. Vows to never do one again.

12/31 -- This year is over!

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