We leave the editorial pages for today's Moron Mail and turn to a medical advice column:
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I feel lost. Everybody says I'm obese. I am 5 feet 7 inches and weigh 270 pounds. I am a 48-year-old male. I swim three to five times a week. I feel good. I recently had a stress test for my heart. I came out with flying colors. Why am I being told I am obese? I have a 52-inch chest and a 50-inch waist.
Er... because you're obese?
(Damn I wish the Strib would go back to the days before they had standards for choosing which letters to print.)