Friday, February 22, 2008

Moron Mail

Today we get a double shot:

Her meaning was clear


The indignant discussion about Michelle Obama's stated pride in her country has been shamefully distorted in its omission of a key word. That word is "really" as in "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country."

A function of the word "really" is to intensify meaning, in this case Obama's feelings about her country
.

And another function of the word "really" is to imply actuality, as in "you really are a disingenuous moron, aren't you?"

That she is really proud of it at this time assumes that she has always been, to some degree, proud of her country since that which does not exist cannot be intensified.

Unless, you go with the other meaning of the word, which you are really not acknowledging.

The specious

'Scuse me while I whip this out:



spe·cious - adj. having a false look of truth or genuineness

ex. The really specious moron tried to pull a fast one by citing only one possible definition of a word, while pretending that the other definition really did not exist. Really.

interpretation of Obama's words is really irresponsible, unethical and rude.

Now that's really going a bit too far.

MAGGIE BONERGHERITY, BONER PRAIRIE

So, contrary to O'Bonermort's tagline to this letter, I guess her meaning wasn't really all that clear after all.

On to moron #2. Make sure you're sitting down for this one:

CASTRO STEPS ASIDE
Years of solid leadership

Oh yeah. You know this is gonna be good.

Many Americans hated Cuban President Fidel Castro but they never knew what he did for his country.

Actually (or, "really") the Americans who hate him the most do know what he "did" for "his" country. And they knew it so well, they were willing to risk death in the open seas, floating on inner tubes, just so they could live in Miami.

And let's face it: there's no more powerful indictment of Castro's rule than the fact that it caused people to flee to Miami.

Castro led a revolution that overthrew the U.S.-backed dictator, Fulgencio Batista. He brought health care to everyone and free education all the way to the university level.

And free rice cookers! Don't forget about the rice cookers.

Castro took the big farms of the fleeing wealthy and divided them up and gave them to the people. The people who before lived in dirt huts and barely scraped by now had enough land to feed their families, health care and college.

Which did many of them little good after being thrown in prison for making Fidel beard jokes.

We should be praising his accomplishments and hoping that his brother can bring as much good to Cuba as he did.

He could hardly do worse. Maybe he could make more seaworthy inner tubes available to the Cubans. That'd be a start.

TRAVIS BONERSEN, BONERTONKA

Let's wrap this up with a Fark cliche':




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