The following is an actual conversation my 3 year old son Moonchild (MC) and I (LF) had yesterday. This is not satire, and I am not making this up:
MC: Know what, daddy?
MC: I got a penis!
LF: I know.
MC: Do you have a penis?
LF: Why yes, yes I do.
MC: We both got penises.
LF: That's right. Give me a bump!
[MC gives LF a fist bump]
MC: We got penises because we're guys.
LF: You are a very smart boy.
MC: Mommy and [The B] don't got penises.
MC: Cuz they're girls.
MC: Girls don't have penises.
LF: Yes, we've already mentioned that.
MC: Guys have penises. And butts!
[The conversation pauses here for five minutes while LF breaks down in crippling, abdomen crushing hysterical laughter.]
LF: [composing self] Girls have butts too.
MC: Yeah, I guess. But not penises.
LF: And that's what's really important.
MC: Can I eat steak now?
Ryan and I are currently in a bidding war to get Moonchild to write for our respective ThunderJournals.