Monday, March 31, 2008

Important MilF Rule Change: ALL MILFers PLEASE READ

All participants in the 4th Annual Millard Fillmore Memorial KARNation Open Championship Golf Outing Classic should bookmark this post for easy referral. Pursuant to much discussion and deliberation, the Competition Committee has proposed a change to the scoring method used in the Tournament to be more consistent with current intellectual fads and discursive tactics.

After briefly considering both the Stableford and Chicago Point systems of scoring and rejecting them, the Committee felt that the fairest and least intellectually challenging scoring method for this year's tournament would be the Bodell-Bremer Method.

Fortunately, the Bodell-Bremmer so simple even a moron could do it. Here's how it works:

1. Score your and your partner's game as you would in any other medal-type play (that means counting the penalty strokes, Nihilist!)

2. At the end of the round, tally your and your partner's scores. Hand in your score card to the Committee Chair.

3. The lowest team score wins.

HOWEVER, here is the new twist:

4. Since all the other teams are participating in the same tournament, they obviously should be treated the same way; therefore...

5. If any single team wins the tournament, ALL TEAMS WIN! Even the teams that totally sucked.

6. And anybody who doesn't golf, but does attend the PostMilF Gala and Awards Ceremony, by virtue of their association with those who did golf, ALSO WIN!

We are in the process of procuring a bigger trophy so we can fit all the names of the winners on it.

UPDATE:

The Competition Committee has voted unanimously to drop the Bodell-Bremmer Scoring Method because it was found to be moronic.

And, in other news, Joe Bodell still hasn't repudiated the heinous acts of his fellow Democrat activist John Wayne Gacy.

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