Do you have boobies or know someone who does? If so, Mrs. Foot and I would like to have a word with you.
As you may already know, boobies are good. Unfortunately, perfect though they may be, boobies can sometimes get cancer in them. This is unacceptable, and it must end.
Most longtime citizens of KARNation are aware that Mrs. Foot has done battle with breast cancer. Last year she formed a team for the Susan G. Komen Twin Cities Race for the Cure that raised over $10,000 to fight breast cancer. Probably the most shocking thing about that achievement is that over $500 of that total came from readers of this ThunderJournal responding to my pleas. Yes, you the typical KAR reader - you, who are typically too emotionally numb to even post a comment - somehow managed to rise to the occasion and show some generosity. For that, you who answered the call deserve some mad props, and can count yourselves worthy of the title of "134,000th-Best Online Community on the Internet."
As a special treat, for this year's drive to Save the Boobies, I am going to allow Mrs. Foot herself make the appeal this year. Yes, this is Mrs. Foot's ThunderJournaling debut. Please observe this moment with the same gravity you would with any historic event.
What follows, are the words of Mrs. Foot.
Hello KAReader, Mrs. Foot here. 1st time blogging on this site - hell, I don't even read the site. But, in the interest of all the thousands of women who have experienced what I have in the last year and a half enduring breast cancer, several surgeries, chemotherapy, and way too many Dr. visits that any 40-year-old women should ever endure, a girl must do what she has to do. I'm not nearly at witty and funny as Mr. Foot, so I apologize in advance for this unfunny post.
Many of you may know someone (other than myself) that has or had breast cancer. 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer in their lifetime. I never thought in my wildest nightmares that I would ever experience this disease, especially so early on in my life (40 is the new 30, ya' know). I am not going to sit down and just take it without putting up a fight. So, I have made it my mission to do whatever I can to help anyone who is affected by breast cancer in some way. I have decided to dedicate my time, effort, and money to a wonderful cause, which many of you may already be aware of, The Susan G. Komen Twin Cities Race for the Cure. This is an annual event where over 50,000 individuals walk or run on Mother's Day at the Mall of America. It's truly an amazing experience if you have not participated in the race before.
Now is your chance to help me and the other brave women who are fighting breast cancer. You can help by joining my team, and/or donating to my team's fundraiser. Most of you will be receiving your economic stimulus checks in May, so I ask that you consider donating a small portion of that money to this great cause. You have until race day, May 11, to make donations but only until April 19 to join our team. I have created a team website that you can easily log into and register and/or make donations for this cause. Mr. Foot has asked that I do not provide the website here, but rather he will email the link to anyone who contacts him directly.
I want to thank those of you who are willing to support this great cause in advance. Unlike Mr. Foot, I actually do appreciate you.
Thank you for your time. Now, back to my husband, the doofus...
Ha ha! Is it any wonder why I married her?
If you want to join our team (walk with us), or donate through it, just drop me a line at koolaidreport (at) yahoo (dot) com, and I'll hook you up with the details. As Mrs. Foot wrote, you only have until April 19th to register if you want to walk with our team.
If I fail to hear from an sufficient number of you in a reasonable amount of time, I will kill Bobo. Don't test me.
And thank you for your indulgence. Boobies.