Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Diluting Stupid

Dilution is a term of art used to describe the act of intentionally devaluing the asset of another through mimicry or by flooding the market with similar items. You can dilute the value of a security by dumping a bunch of shares of the same security on the market all at once. When you get the same number of dollars chances a more abundant supply of the security, its value goes down.

Likewise, Trademark dilution occurs when a firm markets an object, usually packaged with a mark similar to an existing, well-known brand, in order to confuse customers into buying more of the diluting firm's usually crappier product. For example, Ebay recently won a trademark dilution case against an online perfume retailer calling itself "perfume-bay.com" - a name chosen solely because it would make consumers think that the site was a node of Ebay.

Just like in security or retail markets, the concept of dilution can also be used in the marketplace of ideas. Legally. Which brings us to this fun activity I just thought of.

Teh Andee clues us in, in his usual,endearing syntax-impaired way:

Congresswoman Bachmann (R MN6) recently launched a YouTube page and the stalkerazzi of course can’t help but manufacture lies. Oh look, the dumpster queen and stalkerazzi are resorting to lies.

It’s Going to Be A One Way Conversation on Michele Bachmann’s Youtube Channel

I just left a comment on the welcome message.

As anyone one who has ever used YouTube knows, one of the big drawbacks of that otherwise extremely useful site is that it allows comments on videos. And as anyone familiar with the local blogging seen knows: Michele Bachmann + open comment engine = Retard-a-palooza.

Yes, you can bet that those psycho Dumpsters will be polluting the comment threads of every single vid the Congresswoman posts. But fortunately, you can help beat back the throngs of few drooling attention whores with way too much time on their hands in just a few easy steps. It's free and legal. Here's what to do:

1) Create a YouTube account with a user name similar - BUT NOT IDENTICAL - to your favorite Dumpster. For example, you might want to choose a name like "Eva Yount" or "Bill Bendyerass" or "Eric Beeyotch". Or better yet, just choose a name of a Dumpster and merely change one or two letters. The more similar, the better.

If you have an existing account, it may be possible to have a commenting sig that's different than your user name. Look into doing that instead, if you're so inclined.

2) Leave a whole bunch of comments on all of Bachmann's videos. However, to be more effective in your dilution efforts, be sure to follow these stylistic guidelines:

a) Express fake dismay. This is usually accomplished by leading your comment with "Curious."

b) Start off the "substance of your comment by posing a baseless loaded question meant to tie 2 or more unrelated political adversaries together. For example:

I wonder if Bogus Doug was present at the filming of this video, and if
Marcus knows about the rumors of their affair?

c) Bring up an unrelated and speciously self-constructed yet uncorroborated past slur of the congresswoman. The more irrelevant, the better. Example:

Michele Bachmann hid in the bushes once!

d) Demand to be heard by the Congresswoman despite the fact that i) you live outside her district; ii) you email or call her staff daily; iii) there's no way in hell she'd support your moonbat positions and she won an election with everybody in her district knowing that; and iv) no sane person gives a shit what you think anyway. Example:

Why won't Michele Bachmann meet with Karl at the Caribou Coffee in Still
water so he can tell her how to vote on legislation?

e) You should always spell "ridiculous losers" as "rediculous loosers".

Of course you can just leave nice messages too. Just make sure your comments are riddled with spelling errors, barely coherent, and are signed with a name that has a diluting effect.

There. I told you how to defeat Dumpsters using a tried and true method that has worked everywhere it's been tried; including this very ThunderJournal. The more comments you leave, the more the comments all look alike, and the less chance their brain turds will be noticed or even read.

Now go do it.

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