Thursday, May 01, 2008

THIS IS THE GREATEST THUNDERJOURNAL POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET (AND YOU HAVEN"T EVEN READ IT YET)!!!!1!!11!!!!

[Scene: KAR World Headquarters. LEARNEDFOOT is anxiously attempting to get to his computer while BILL struggles to restrain him.]

FOOT: DAMMIT! Let me go.

BILL: No! I will not allow you to do this!

FOOT: I'm the boss, and I decide what goes on the ThunderJournal!

BILL: [Tackles FOOT to the floor, and puts him in a half nelson] Yeah, but we all have to live with the consequences!

FOOT: [BILL tightens hold] ARRRRRRGH!!! What are you talking about?

BILL: You know gosh darn well what I'm talking about! The flood of incoherent, self righteous comments! The flaming! THE SPAM!

FOOT: I - ARGH! - DON'T - GRUNT! - CARE! The material is too good to pass up!

[FOOT musters his strength to rise and flip BILL over his shoulder, slamming him onto the ground with a really sweet looking Judo move. He runs to the computer and starts typing furiously.]

BILL: [sobbing] Fine! Be that way! I'm going to go decorate a pie. And you know what? YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!

[BILL runs from room. FOOT checks the box next to "Bill Pie Gag" on the "List of KAR Gags to Please Commenter Bob Dukiet".]

Oh, hello there. Ron Paul wrote a book called "The Revolution: A Manifesto." And the reviews on Amazon (almost universally glowing) are precious. Here's a sampling:

Ron Paul's Legacy, April 12, 2008

...

No mere "campaign book," this is one for the ages. And I especially appreciated the suggested reading list at the end. Ron, thank you for your shining example in congress, for teaching millions through your presidential race, and for being--as this extraordinary book shows--the Tom Paine of the second American revolution. Fellow Ron Paulians, we have only begun. [emphasis mine]

"We have only just begun annoying bloggers who think we're nuts!" More:

Now or never . . ., April 17, 2008

I think it is fair to say that Ron Paul has risked his life by identifying the essential elements by which the power élite controls our lives.

...

A call to action to complete the revolution started in 1776. One man cannot start a revolution, but like Thomas Paine with "Common Sense" he can waken a dormant spirit. Let the revolution begin.

These people are drama queens. Another:

Ron Paul + Jesse Ventura = Critical Mass, April 21, 2008

*SNORT!!!*

'Scuse me. I need to compose myself.

Ron Paul excels at the Constitutional fundamentals: individual liberty, sound money, and non-interventionist foreign policies.

...

This is an eloquent book in which he draws with extreme care from the thoughts of others, always attributed in the text, and provides a series of arguments that do not call for the impeachment of George Bush and Dick Cheney, but certainly do call for the impeachment of the complicit Congress.

(Checking the Constitution again.) Nope. Nothing in there about "impeaching" Congress. This reviewer obviously doesn't "excel" at "Constitutional fundamentals" like Paul supposedly does.

The most important book written since COMMON SENSE, April 21, 2008

No. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" was the most important book written since "Common Sense." The most important pamphlet written since "Common Sense" was easily "So, You've Been Diagnosed with Herpes."

Dr. Ron Paul's THE REVOLUTION: A MANIFESTO is a concise (167 pages) and convincing argument for a return to America's libertarian principles.

Funny. The Amazon summary has the book listed as having 192 pages. One more:


By
Charles T. Neighboners "The Truth Seeker" (Longmont, CO USA)


An Easy To Read & Understand Book...A Must Read For All Americans to Understand What Our Founding Fathers Wanted - When..., April 27, 2008

I Highly recommend this to even the folks who laughed at Dr Paul in the GOP Presidential debates...and went the other direction, to vote for the same old rags that we have been having for a long time. The Rags like our current President, and The Clintons, etc....all the way down the line since Abraham Lincoln... YES...he has The Real Lincoln: A New Look at Abraham Lincoln, His Agenda, and an Unnecessary War Listed on the back of his books to further read...

And if that little blurb caused you to think that this reviewer is a mouth-breathing whackjob, never fear! He has described his bona fides to assuage your suspicions thus:

By The Way...I am a NON-NEOCON-GOP(Republican) and not a Libertarian!

Which obviously explains his donation to the Constitution Party in 1996. "Truth seeker" maybe. Truth teller...?

You gotta love those wacky Paulistines. Oh, but those amusing "reviews" are not the punchline. Oh no no no. The punchline is this:

All of those reviews (some 145 in all) were written before 10:30 am today (you'll note that it many cases they were written weeks before today). Yes, today:

The book's release day.

(And yes there are several different conclusions you can draw from that.)

[Enter BILL carrying a delicious looking strawberry rhubarb pie topped with whipped cream. BILL slams the pie into FOOT'S face.]

BILL: Take THAT, you big meanie goonie bird! [Storm's out of room.]

FOOT: Mmmmmm...face pie.

No comments: