Thursday, July 10, 2008

Come to Think of It, You Do Remind Me of Another Kind of Hole

There's "childish." There's "easily offended." There's "hypersensitive." And then there's - well, whatever this guy is:

A special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned tense and bizarre this afternoon.

County commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts.

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole."

That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy
.

"Racially insensitive analogy" should have scare quotes around it. Big scare quotes; scare quotes the size of a star just before it collapses that carries with it a gravitational force so powerful that it can suck those three words out of this article beyond its event horizon, collapsing it into an infinitessimal point of pure ignorance.

Cute metaphors aside, how does one even function with such a tightly wound spring-loaded offensiveness detector? Can you imagine if everyone was like this?

BLACK GUY: The Cubs are are going to crumble like a cracker down the stretch!

WHITE GUY: Excuse me!

BLACK GUY: What?

WHITE GUY: I think you mean the Cubs are going to crumble like a blacker.

WHITE GUY #2: I demand you apologize for using the work "cracker"!

BLACK GUY: My God, you two are dumb.

(See, also, this post.)

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