Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Earning My Stripes

Joe Tucci here. The Big Toe is sending me to Billy's tonight to guard Andy, so I thought I'd tell you a little about myself on account of not many of you know me.

Chicks dig me 'cuz I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's something unusual. And Andy, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together - forget it.

Now a couple of ground rules:

The name's Joe Tucci, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Joe, I'll kill you.

Also, I don't like no one touching my buffalo wings. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my wings, I'll kill you.

And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, I'll kill you.

LEARNEDFOOT INTERJECTS: Lighten up Francis.

Sorry boss.

See you tonight.

Oh, and by the way: Foot looks nothing like Silvio Berlusconi (though I do NOT recommend doing a google image search for "Berlusconi"). If any one of you tells me that Foot looks like Berlusconi, I'll kill you.

Now, I think we owe a big round of applause for our big toe, LearnedFoot.

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