Just spent the last few days in the Dells. Since this was a family vacation, most of the time was spent at various water parks dodging chubby, hairy men with pornstaches from Chicago shooting out of large plastic tubes while trying not to look at chubby, leathery tramp-stamped women from Chicago crammed into swimsuits that were several sizes too small.
Of course, Moonchild was a madman on the waterslides, and The B spent pretty much the entire time underwater, as she is wont to do. This kept Mrs. Foot and me in a constant state of awareness and panic, carefully trying to keep a vigilant eye on the kids while trying very hard not to get an eyeful of pulsating cellulite blobbing out from the "confines" of a Brazilian-cut bikini.
At the middle of the day each day, retreated back to the condo we were sharing with another family to eat lunch and put the younger ones down for a nap. This provided the only time that we could venture out at take in some of Wisconsin Dells' World Famous Scenery™.
Like, for instance, the lovely Lake Delton:
You may recall hearing about Lake Delton in the news last month when it completely drained into the Wisconsin River. That's about the time that people visiting the area stopped being "vacationers" and instead morphed into "gawkers".
So, if you look at a lake with water in it, you're Taking In the Scenic Beauty of Nature. No water: you're staring at a car wreck.
It was a surreal scene. The landscape was dotted with the stumps of the trees that were cleared before the area was flooded. Most of the boat lifts and docks remained in place.
Here's a buoy supposedly marking a rock:
Either someone took this rather unique opportunity to remove the rock, or the nearby cabin owner didn't want any boats coming too close to his slip. Kind of the passive-aggressive aquatic equivalent of "get off my lawn".
OK. Here's one Gee Look How Cute My Kids Are In the Water pic (with some girl apparently farting in my general direction):