Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Reading the Tea Leaves

Interesting developments in the Brett Favre saga:

An NFL spokesman confirmed that Favre had faxed his application for reinstatement to Commissioner Roger Goodell on Tuesday afternoon, setting the wheels in motion for him to end his retirement and play football again. It will be up to Goodell to decide whether Favre will be reinstated, but that decision is a foregone conclusion, and the only question is when he will announce it.

Before that, new Packers President Mark Murphy flew to Hattiesburg, Miss., on Tuesday night, presumably to discuss with Favre the organization’s next move. When reached by the Journal Sentinel, Murphy, who flew by himself on a private plane, would not disclose his exact intentions in traveling to Hattiesburg, where Favre lives.

Here's what's going to happen: Favre's going to report to camp and, being no acceptable trade offers, will compete with A-Rodg for the starting position. A-Rodg, being a star in the making will tie Favre for the starting position. The Pack will make history by featuring the first ever 2-QB offense, and go on to win the Super Bowl. Suck it Vikings fan.

Remember: you heard it from OPG first!

LEARNEDFOOT INQUIRES: Um, what the hell do you think you're doing?

OPG ANSWERS: Just writing about the Pack. Same as always.

LEARNEDFOOT PUZZLES: I thought you retired?

OPG CLARIFIES: Indeed, I did.

LEARNEDFOOT STEAMS: Then WTF are you doing posting again???????

OPG RESPONDS: Oh, nothing. I'm just staying sharp. You know: maintaining my blogging chops.

LEARNEDFOOT FACEPALMS: By writing another post on a blog after you've retired from blogging?

OPG DEFENDS: Yes. How else am I supposed to practice my writing?

LEARNEDFOOT STUTTERS: Why would you want to practice? YOU'RE F-ING RETIRED!!!!!!

OPG MATTER-OF-FACTS: Yes. I am. No more blogging for this guy! Free and easy for the rest of my life!

LEARNEDFOOT REVEALS: So all those 17 calls you made to the Nihilist in Golf Pants on my cell phone...?

OPG EXPLAINS: Just calling to say "hi" to an old buddy.

LEARNEDFOOT EXPLODES: YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HIM!!!!!!

OPG TAP DANCES: We have an unconventional friendship.

LEARNEDFOOT DUMBFOUNDS: Uh-huh. I see. What am I going to do with you?

HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA INTERJECTS: KILL HIM!!! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!!!!

OPG TAKES OFFENSE: Oh, now c'mon. I just retired. I'd like to enjoy my retirement for a while before you kill me.

LEARNEDFOOT GIVES UP: Stop posting please.

OPG REMINDS: Well, duh! I'm retired. Have you already forgotten?

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