Thursday, July 31, 2008

Rhetoric That Needs to Die. Now.

It often gets lost among the snark, satire, parody, golf outing pimping, and anus-related comedy jokes, that the foundation of KAR is the critique and potty-mouthed denunciation of brainless memes that occur in the public discourse. For several weeks now, talking points, repeated slanders and stupid memes have gone unchallenged here. So in an effort to do a little catch-up, I'd like to address some of the stupider things I've seen floating around the public discussion, in no particular order.

"Allowing more offshore (or ANWR or wherever) drilling will do nothing more than put more money in the greedy oil company's coffers."

Accepting this dumb assertion as true (though it most likely is not), I still have one question:

So effing what?

You see, if you are uttering this line, you are probably some leftist letter writer / blogger / candidate for office / politician / local newspaper columnist or activist. As such you do nothing to get me to work or otherwise improve my - or anyone else's - quality of life. On the other hand, oil companies provide me with gasoline. If they get more money, then I am happy for them. And given that I own a few mutual funds whose holdings include oil companies, some of those obscene profits are also helping fund my retirement. And I'm far from alone.

You, on the other hand, are worthless. Not surprising given the vacuity of this particular assertion.

"Brett Favre's going to play for the Vikings."

No. He's not. Repeating it ad nauseum like a petulant little 7 year-old who really REALLY wants to go to Disney World won't make it so either. Stop it. You sound like a bunch of dumbasses. It's not even that much of a taunt. Enjoy your 8 and 8 season.

Calling Barack Obama "Obami".

It isn't funny or clever when Chris Baker does it. It's even less so when you do it, since it carries the added taint of being completely unoriginal. Stop it, before I start referring to you as "Assboy."

Referring to Barack Obama's middle name every time you mention him.

See above. It did elicit a small chuckle at the irony when it was first discovered that Obama's middle name is Hussein, but that time has long since past. Now it just sounds stupid and desperate. No matter how much you may disagree with him philosophically, he had no more control over what his parents named him than his parents did over the prevention of some third-rate thug rising to power in Iraq several years after Obama's birth.

Every time you call him "Barack Hussein Obama" as an attempted slur, God kills a puppy to spare it from the possibility of having a slapnuts like you as an owner. Stop it.

"Norm Coleman should give back all the money Ted Stevens donated to his campaign."

Perhaps we should do background checks on all of Franken's donors. I bet they're all as pure as the driven snow. Oh, and also: Ted Stevens has only just been indicted. As I am wont to do, I'll demur from revisiting an oft-repeated cliche by not mentioning that whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing.

Oops.

"LIAR!"

This is a term so overused and abused (mostly by liberals; especially by their chosen party), that it has become almost completely devoid of meaning.

Don't believe me? OK. Here's a recent example of what I'm talking about.

That's right, the chair of the DFL filed a complaint alleging that a Norm Coleman ad contained "false campaign material" (LIAR!). And the method he used to demonstrate there were falsehoods in the ad, was alleging that there were falsehoods in the ad. Because to many, the mere accusation has become proof of the sin.

Did I mention that the complainant / DFL chair is also the current President of the Minnesota State Bar Association? He's the main reason I let my membership lapse. You'd think that the president of a large association of lawyers would know the pleading requirements before filing a complaint. Unless, you know, he just wanted to make the accusation to give the DFL's minions something to write about.

Stop it.

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