Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Moron Mail -- Buffalo Butt Edition

We've all been there: pigging out on hot buffalo wings and beer while watching a meaningless preseason football game only to suffer from the inevitable squishy, red-hot sphincter searing poop the following morning which forces you to soak your toilet paper in aloe vera to make the super messy butt wiping even moderately bearable. I call it "buffalo butt," and - BOY HOWDY! - I have it today.

But even if I didn't, this letter reminds me of it:



Is it any wonder that the McCain campaign and the Republican Party are making fun of Barack Obama's suggestion that American drivers properly inflate their tires?

With proper inflation, we collectively could save 3 percent of our gas, with the resulting savings going directly into the pockets of American drivers. I would rather have $60 saving per year staying in my pocket than going into the already inflated profits of Big Oil.

LEON BONERKNIGHT, BROOKLYN BONER


Would it really, though? Does that proposal assume that everybody is driving with improperly inflated tires? If not, how many underinflated drivers is that 3% figure based on? What if you're already driving with properly inflated tires? Does that mean that on the energy issue Obama is worthless to you? And how sad do you have to be to need a presidential candidate remind you to properly inflate your tires? And isn't there a more comprehensive solution than mere tire inflation levels and throwing money at as yet unproven technologies while making the economy suffer in the interim?


And how sad is it that were are even discussing proper tire inflation on the letters page of the Strib?


As a person who drives with impeccably inflated tires, I say "Huzzah and three cheers for Big Oil and its obscene profits, for they give us gas!" Obama, on the other hand...


Now, for no apparent reason, here's this:






Lest there be any doubts as to who is the real king of poopblogging amongst the Northern Alliance.

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