Thursday, September 11, 2008

I, for One, Welcome Our New Inebriated Overlord

I'd like to remind him that as a trusted local ThunderJournalist, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in his underground vermouth mines.

In as close to a foregone conclusion I have seen since Monday night's Packers / Viking tilt, you all have overwhelmingly sniffed out Atomizer as the Shadow Power behind the RNC security force's tactics. He is obviously the most believable police puppetmaster; so much more so than the Sheriff, the Chief of Police or the policemen themselves. Mr. Bonerony has been notified of our discovery. You can expect retribution from Atomizer soon, probably in the form of a slurred profanity.

Which brings us to another thing that Atomizer is probably going to control from afar with his vast and intricate power machinery:

THE MOB MAYORAL ELECTION!!!!!!!!11!!!11!

Yes, it's that time again. As Mayor Baniaiaiaiaiaiannaiain aain's term winds down without nearly enough ridicule from his constituents, we again must do our civic duty as MOBsters (other than keeping breweries in business) and choose our next figurehead. And the first step in the process is the Offering o' the Nominations.

FAQs

Who is eligible to run for Mayor?

Anyone listed on the Minnesota Organization of Blogs Official Blogroll™ who has not previously pissed off the MOB's Secretary of State for Life (me).

How does the nomination process work?

You can nominate any eligible candidate in the comment thread to this post, and this post only. The candidates must be explicitly named in the thread. Do not assume your nominee will make the ballot just because you mentioned something to me or anyone else, wrote something on your crappy little blog about it, or are in fact the current mayor.

Can I nominate myself?

Yes you can, you narcissistic shit.

What else should I know?

As in previous years, there will be a primary vote followed by a runoff vote between the top two vote-getters in the primary (or more, in the rare case there's a more than two-way tie). The vote will be conducted via the usual method atop the KAR sidebar. All decisions made by the SOSFL are final. Void in Connecticut.

What are the benefits of being Mayor?

  • You are referred to by everybody else as "Da Mayor".
  • You get to display this nifty little graphic on your blog.
  • You get to refer to your predecessors as the "functional equivalents of the Carter Administration."
  • You get to take shit from deeply diseased leftybloggers who - among the warehouse-filling number of clues they don't possess - have still not figured out that this is one of the longest running jokes on the internet. Expect to be labeled a racist at least once by one of these assnozzles, even if you haven't publicly written about anything more weighty than the set list from the next Guitar Hero game in the past year.
  • Chicks. Oh, man, the chicks.

Gee, that sounds wonderful! Where do I sign up?

Stop submitting FAQs, Chad.

My God you're sexy! Do you know how sexy you are?

Stop submitting FAQs, Chad's wife.

On with it!

No comments: