Before I get to the primary results a couple of notes on the voting process:
1) I've seen a lot of discussion revolving around different methods of stuffing the ballot box. One of them was put forward by somebody who said s/he accessed a bunch of different IP addresses to circumvent the one vote per day rule. For anyone who tried this I have one thing to say:
You are a moron.
You see, the pollhost vote limitation algorithm relies on a cookie, not an IP addy. Cookies go on your computer and stay there no matter what IP address you are using. So, if you lugged your laptop to 15 different Starbucks' in hopes of gaming the system, all you really did was waste a lot of gas and drink WAY too much coffee for one single solitary measly vote. Way to go moron.
I 'm not saying that there might not be some sort of IP screening algorithm in there somewhere, but past experience has shown that we must look to the cookie. In fact, it's likely a combination of the 2.
2) That said, I have noted that in the past, the pollhost cookie algorithm hasn't always worked right, sometimes allowing more than one vote in a 24 hour period, sometimes prohibiting votes cast past the 24 hour dark period. It's a free service. What the hell do you expect?
3) And with that said: even when it is working correctly, 23 hours and 45 minutes is not 24 hours. Wait the full day before bitching, Snowflake.
4) Voting from Blackberry devices has been hit or miss (mostly miss) in my experience. If you voted via one of these things and your vote wasn't counted, join the club.
And now some thoughts on the primary itself:
A) Another bullet dodged: we will not be subjected to another The Andee administration.
B) At some point, we here at KAR are going to learn our lesson and only put forward one candidate instead of splitting the ticket. Yes, Bobo + Iron Matron = FAIL. It's a tried and true losing strategy going on 4 years now.
C) I CALL SHENANIGANS!!!!!1!!1!11!1!!!111!!!!
There is no way - NO WAY IN HELL - that Teaparty got 15 votes without cheating!
Ha ha. I keed. Of course, the question on everyone's mind is:
"How the hell did JRoosh cheat?" And my answer is, "er...duh."
I have no idea. what I do know is that when I went to bed, Roosh had something like 45 votes to Marteen's 50. When I checked this morning, he had about 50 more votes while Marteen only garnered 5 overnight. I have only this to say to Roosh:
Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, if it was really Roosh behind it anyway. I have reason to believe it wasn't since the overwhelming number of overnight referrers came from the same site; a site known for its penchant for pissing off a lot of people though tortured and barely literate prose. I would not be surprised at all if there were some cabal out there who made a concerted effort to undermine that site's chosen candidate.
If that is the true scenario, they failed. Sort of. Which brings us to the primary results:
Yes, Roosh is in! And the second candidate is...
YET TO BE DETERMINED!!!!
We have a tie for 2nd place between the incumbent King Bananaman and the aforementioned and possibly screwed Margaret Marteeeen. And as the incredibly astute Professor Jacobs informed us yesterday, this tie must be resolved in some manner.
As Secretary of State for Life, I have devised such a manner. The second candidate will be determined by...
A CRAPS GAME!!!!!1!!11!
(And here I note: it is times like this where I absolutely cherish my role as Secretary of State for Life.)
Here are the rules:
Both Banaiaiain and Marteeeen shall play this online craps game. (Remember that? Yep, nothing on KAR happens without a reason. Except for the poop humor.) They will have until Monday to garner the best score possible in that game. The game may be reset as many times as desired, but note that each contestant will be unaware of the other's score. Once you have a score you're comfortable with, email me a screen shot of the game with your score clearly visible at:
koolaidreport (at) yahoo (dot) com.
The candidate with the highest score (or the smallest loss) faces off against Roosh in the general on Tuesday.
But Foot, I have no idea how to play craps!
Well, you have until Monday to learn. You can start here. I suggest $5 pass line with maximum odds, but that's just me.
Screenshots of your scores to me by NOON MONDAY.
If only all elections were this fun.