Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Are We There Yet? - KAR 2008 in Review Part 6

One page for maximum scrolldownitude.



JUNE



6/2 - Holy ass!

Supreme Court denies cert to Major League Baseball ensuring that rotisserie leagues will remain available for legions of dateless wonders who don't have enough game to score drunk Iowa cougars in restrooms.

6/3 - Property law can teach us a lot about dim Shot in the Dark comment trolls. We can abolish the Four Unities, but we can't seem to get rid of this twerp.

6/6 - Phuc fails to Nguyen love of Bich. Says "phucket" and commits murder. That's just Truong.

6/9 - In a development akin to Tiger Woods' knee injury, Yost drops out of the 2008 MilF. Disappointed, the flagsticks at Valleywood GC start trolling the clubhouse bathrooms for affection.

6/10 - Leftbloggers' heroic Blog for Steve Sarvi Day raises literally several dollars for the Democrat's run against John Kline. Kline wakes up just long enough to ask, "Sarvi who, now?"

6/11 - The Great Top Chef Hotness Debate of '08 brought to you by Trojan® condoms; Viagra®, KY® Personal Lubricant and the Glad® family of products.

6/12 - NonMonkey bases an entire column on an interview with - I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP - a pacifist mime who does "crucifixion performances" and compares Muslim terrorists to Jesus. Fed up with this jerk, Journalistic Standards leaves scene, starts trolling for college boys near the men's room.

Moonchild squeezes out a huge MONGO NonMonkey column.

6/17 - ♪♬ White men came to Valleywood / To hit golf balls into the woods ♪♫

6/18 - Minneapolis hosts the Nation Conference for Media "Reform." Citizen "journalists" flock to the Convention Center to "strike" a "blow" against the "right-wing" "dominated" media and LearnedFoot's supply of scare quotes.

Moonchild shows promise of a future in which he may some day perform feats of athletic prowess in major-league stadia while housewives in Iowa are getting boned in their restrooms.

6/20 - ZOMG GREENSCREEN!1!!1!1!!1!! EVERYBODY VOTE FOR FRANKEN!!!1!!!!!1

6/24 - The Analog Kid discovers a rich new vein of material at the Strib. So rich, in fact, that he never posts at KAR again.

6/27 - Foot's softball team slaughters Kevin Ecker's team 21 to 3. Good thing Kevie didn't play, because a score of 21 to -3 is impossible in softball.

Not news: Guy gets hit in head with a golf ball. News: He pops a boner. KAR: This didn't happen at the MilF.

Seriously: is there anything George Soros doesn't fund?

6/30 - Medieval England can teach us a lot about the real estate market. Oddly enough, I'm not referring to the Black Plague.

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