Thursday, December 11, 2008

Henceforth, All Our Communications Shall Be in Writing

[The Notorious B.I.L. (BILL) is reclining in a barcalounger reading a newspaper at KAR HQ. LearnedFoot (FOOT) enters.]

FOOT: 'Sup Bill

THE NOTORIOUS B.I.L.: Nothing. What is up with you, Foot?

FOOT: Nuttin'. Whatcha reading?

BILL: Oh, just the Sheboygan Press.

FOOT: Keeping up on all the hap's in Wisconsin's Lake Michigan shore communities?

BILL: Yes. It's a hobby of mine.

FOOT: I see. Anything interesting?

BILL: Why yes. It appears that a sex offender was cleared by the Sheboygan Common Council to live in a certain north side neighborhood. Needless to say, the locals are not pleased.

FOOT: Hey! I drove through Sheboygan once. Maybe I know the guy. What's his name?

BILL: Pheuk Kue.

FOOT: Excuse me????

BILL: I said, Pheuk Kue.

FOOT: What the hell is wrong with you now?

BILL: Nothing!

FOOT: All I asked was what the guy's name was -

BILL: And I told you.

FOOT: So what's his name?

BILL: Pheck.

FOOT: Pheck who?

BILL: Pheuk Kue.

FOOT: [Outraged] Pheck me???!!!

BILL: No, stupid. Pheuk Kue.

FOOT: ARRRRRGH!1!1!1!1 Prepare to be punched in yer pie hole!

[BILL shoves the newspaper into FOOT's face.]

BILL: Here you moron! Just read the story.

[FOOT snatches the paper, reads the article, and blushes.]

FOOT: Oh. Heh. The guys name really is Pheuk Kue.

BILL: See?

FOOT: Yeah. Uh...sorry for the assault...

BILL: No offense taken.

FOOT: Soooooo. What do you think this guy did? Do you suppose he Phuc some Bich?

BILL: Dunno. Probably molested a child or something.

FOOT: Maybe he fukubukuro?

BILL: First of all, I don't think that's illegal. Second, I thought I made it clear to you that that word is Japanese for "lucky sack".

FOOT: Ho ho! I'll bet that Pheuk sure thought his sack was lucky while he was pounding it up against that buckaroo's aso.

BILL: I'm sorry Foot. This conversation can no longer serve any useful purpose. [Exits.]

FOOT: Fukudome!


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