Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Lousy Smarch - KAR's 2009 in Review - Part 3

All on one page. Keen!

MARCH

3/1 - Noted Marquette Alumnus Denbo gets a colonoscopy. KAR is there. Well, not actually *there*. Because that would be gross.

3/3 - Attempting to win City Pages' Best Blog award, LearnedFoot brings back "fleen" unaware that the entire City Pages staff had already left the paper to write at Soros blogs.

3/4 - Brett Favre retires, considers coming out of retirement.

Anti-gun activist writes the Strib claiming the act of opening a gate constitutes a threat of deadly force. Dives under her desk in terror at the "e-mail sent" message on her computer monitor.

3/5 - Favre quells all speculation of a comeback by staying retired for a complete 24 hours.

Rake Magazine survey finds that some morons actually go to KAR for news, boner jokes.

3/6 - Iron Matron gets the KAR endorsement for MOB Mayor because of all the candidates, she posesses the best leadership qualities, tits.

3/7 - Imagine a world in which all the bumper music is Dio. It's easy if you try.

3/8 - The Nihilist's 2-Hour Dio Hour goes live on the radio, thrilling literally several listeners.

3/9 - Shakin' martinis, playing winning poker, smashing guiars: a day in the idyllic life of Moonchild.

3/11 - Eliot Spitzer calls Brett Favre to ask him what retirement's like.

3/12 - "ARRRRRRGHHHH!!!!! TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TUUUUUUUUURD!!!!!!!!"

3/13 - The annual MiLF Date Change comes early this year.

3/14 - Googler needs to know how to keep her anus and butt cheeks smelling like shit. Obviously a horny housewife looking to get banged in a restroom. Fortunately, KAR is here for you.

3/17 - [Homer] Mmmmmm....Alabama Hot Pockets... [/Homer]

The most awesome post about how to improve the college game ever written. Ever.

3/19 - Lady gets a new anus. In related news, Al Franken wants to be your next Senator.

3/21 - LearnedFoot attempts to organize the Minnesota Monitor's employees. Finds it to be similar to Wal mart if Wal Mart were funded by a rich Hungarian douchebag.

3/24 - In general, the most succinct guide to arguing with leftist race pimps ever created. Ever. Generally. Ever. In general.

3/25 - In general, the most succinct guide ever to arguing with faux "centrist" who defend leftist race pimps ever created. Ever ever in general ever.

3/26 - Ms. Preismeyer, Dirty Mushroom. Dirty Mushroom, Ms. Preismeyer.

3/27 - LearnedFoot retires from reading leftyblogs. Forever. Just like Brett Favre.

3/28 - "I've got a penis!"

3/31 - The Bodell-Bremmer scoring method adopted for use in the 2008 MilF. Immediately discarded as stupid. The name should have been a tipoff.

Democrats = serial killer clowns. Well, at least clowns.

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