Friday, January 09, 2009

Shut Up 2008! Just...Shut Up: KAR 2008 in Review Part 9

Collect them all.


SEPTEMBER

9/2 - Upset at being denied access to the Iowa Delegation at the RNC, protesters start breaking stuff.

Flash gets owned. Again.

Teh Andee claims that he was "hosebagged" by being under-credentialed for the RNC. After hours of continuous meetings on the matter, the KAR editorial staff decides that if there were such a word as "hosebagged," that's probably how it would be spelled.

OH, THE HAIR PIT-ITY!

9/3 - Flummoxed that none of their other lies about Sarah Palin are gaining any traction with the public, the Left Wing Smear Machine overplays its hand by claiming she is not hot, not a woman and not the Governor of Alaska - or alternatively, even if she were governor, Alaska isn't "really" a state. For good measure, upon learning that Palin never really believed that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a triceratops as they once asserted, claim He actually did.

9/4 - Legalize it.

9/5 - Adventures in left-wing rhetoric: Uppity. Vicious. Penis.

9/7 - Brett Favre hints that he might want to return for one more season by throwing for 194 yards and 2 touchdowns leading the Jets to victory over the Dolphins.

9/9 - ♬ Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage / Then someone will say that I was put there by Dick Cheney

9/11 - KAR commemorates the anniversary of 9-11 by kicking off the MOB Mayoral race. Guiliani - get it? See... he was the Mayor then, er - OK, fine - we are a bunch of self-involved douches. There. I admitted it. Happy now?

9/12 - DFL patsy-blogger holds Republicans and Democrats to different standards. Brett Favre still not retired.

I haz a bukkit (of urine).

9/14 - Sitemeter releases its new user interface that only a drunken cougar from Iowa could love.

9/17 - Why political lawn signs suck harder than an Iowa housewife in a Metrodome john.

9/19 - Just about every comment thread that ever existed at Shot in the Dark summed up in 3 panels.

9/22 - The MOB Mayoral voters' guide. Forget MOB Mayor - judging by Bobo's statement, he had a real shot at Senator.

9/23 - The next time some leftist nimrod tries to tell you the economic collapse was the result of some nebulous and unspecified "Bush economic policy," tell him to read this post. Then kick him in the groin hard and run away.

9/24 - Please people, when you drop a deuce - AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH -please wipe your butt. That's what that toilet paper is there for. Fat, drunk and poopy butted is no way to go through life.

First MOB Mayoral Debate: Whose butt would you staple shut and why?

9/25 - Debate number 2. And by "number 2" I mean "local lefty bloggers".

9/26 - Iron Matron treats the crew to poop signs, earning the eternal spite of Mrs. Foot.

9/29 - The first ever Murray Head reference on KAR. What took so long?

A poop sign primer. Poop.

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