Wednesday, December 07, 2011

It's On in a Manner Not Unlike Donkey Kong

As I promised yesterday, it's time to begin the 2011-2012 MOB / ORGASMB Mayoral campaign! Here's how it will go:

STEP 1: Nominations will be taken by me (as acting MOB Secretary of State for Life) until I don't feel like taking them any more. Candidates must fit the following criteria:

1) Be a member of the MOB or ORGASMB in good standing or an anthropomorphic foul-mouthed chimp.

2) Is not nor ever has been associated with certain known doucheblogs.

3) Paulbots will be dealt with amusingly.

But Foot - shouldn't we hold a recall election to remove the current mayor first?

Well, that would be stupid.  What kind of deranged jackasses would recall a perfectly competent and honest politician when we have periodic elections on dates certain to allow the populace to make the decision to remove said politician.  I mean you have to be a real soulless, self-entitled, rage-addicted and vindictive ninny to do something so drastically overwrought and wrong.  Stupid hypothetical fuckers.

Where was I? Oh yeah:

STEP 2: After a 73 debates and a period of mudslinging and general slanders, an election will be held among all candidates.  Simple majority wins.  If no candidate gets a simple majority, we have a runoff election between the top two candidates.

KAR hereby nominates Bobo to be your next mayor. [ACCEPTANCE SPEECH]

Submit your nominations now. Go.


Eva Young said...

I nominate teh Karl Bremer to be teh mayer of teh MOB, because he is teh best blogger in Minesota, not like all you wingnut loosers.

Read my blog.


Penismegma said...

I nominate Dog Gone to be the mayor of the MOB. Dog Gone is obviously the best possible person for the job, as anyone who isn't a neo-nutzie winghut teabagger who didn't vote for George W. Bush would know. But we know that's not something that applies to any of you on this site, because this is a wingnut teabagger site. One more thing, why do you defend Governor Walker? He took office illegially as Dog GOne proooved with her FACT CHECK, which is another reason that she should beyour mayor, except that being a bunch of wingnut teabaggers you are sexist and racist and bigotted against women and minorities, which Dog Gone is not a minority, but you hate women just as much, as Dog Gone showed in her FACT CHECK of the entire teabagger movement with ABSOLUTELY AIRTIGHT documenetation from, which is better than any facts you have, and if you disagree, you just prove that you have one finger pointing at me and nine fingers pointing at yourself, so don't even pretend to be objective here. And why are you talking about football anyway, there is so much important things going on in the world like making sure Barack Obama, who is smarter than all of you wingnuts put together, get's elected again, and your'e a racist if you don't vote for him, but you are all racists, and looooosers. So vote for Dog Gone for Mayor. Not that wingnut Aplpppllickowski. But vote for Dog Gone, before she FACT CHECKS your ass like she FACT CHECK'S' all the rest of you. So vote Dog Gone.

Mr. D said...

If those are the candidates, Bobo should be a shoo-in.

We might have a potential candidate on the roster of the Mr. Dilletante's Neighborhood blog, but the local BPOU is still debating the matter. Stay tuned.

LearnedFoot said...

@ "Penismegma"

Spot. On.

Cosmo Insolocco said...

I nominate Professor Bill Gleason's prolapsed rectum for Mayor and DogGone for Vice Mayor.

Gleason's pooper looks just like a meaty sock puppet, and I think that watching Vice Mayor DogGone speak through it at MOB events would be very funny.

Thank you.

Leo Pusateri said...

If I wasn't so pitifully inconsistent in updating the Ice Palace, I'd nominate myself. I'd nominate Banaaaaaaaaian for another term, but he's otherwise occupied in another elected office. Feh. As such, I believe I would like to nominate the Master of Sausages. At least he can cook a decent meal.

Mr. D said...

The results of the BPOU are in and we have our candidate.

Vote for Fearless Maria -- not yet a teenager and a significantly better speller than teh Andee.

Ben said...

I nominate myself. Because its nowhere in the rules that I can't. Besides wouldn't it be great to have a 25 year old as a despot? Would definitely be something I could put on my resume.

Kevin Ecker said...

As the perennial candidate, I'll nominate myself.

I'll have to write some new threats and promises of violence in preparation for my campaign.

Night Writer said...

The comment from penissmegma is obviously bogus. One, it was too short, and two, you actually wanted to read it.

Schwifty said...

Speaking of bogus; that's right, I'm going there.

I nominate Bogus Doug.

We welcome drunks, wankers, whiners, wanna-be's, reprobates and tossers, to say nothing of Anoka Flush, and I think it's important for the MOB to have the acceptance, nay, the approval of the "not-happy-in-the-birthday suit-God-made-for-me"'s a new day and we have a new Doug.

(Besides, I hear he's got huge knockers now)

Gino said...

I second the nomination of Fearless Maria.
and she's got the proper attitude for depostism.

LearnedFoot said...

She's a minor and doesn't have a blog. Ethel nomination goes to Mr D.

LearnedFoot said...

*The nomination. I have no idea what autocorrect thinks an "Ethel" nomination is.

Mr. D said...

She's a minor and doesn't have a blog.

Actually, she has two:

We will defer to the SOS for Life's rulings, of course.

redsquirrel said...

(insert patriotic music here):

I am J. RedSquirrel(, and I am forming an exploratory committee for this important office. Check out my blog for details. I am the best rodent for this postion.

Disclaimer: I'm only considering entering this race for the increased pageviews. I am J. RedSquirrel, and I think that I approve of this message.

Il Duce' said...

I second the nomination of Bogus Doug. She exemplifies that determination of the MOB to be true to yourself, even if you have to slice off your little buddy to do it. I have to respect (and fear) that level of commitment.

redsquirrel said...

Today I filed the papers at Secretary of State (Learned)Foot's office, and officially announce my nomination.

I'll have more later. Thank you.