Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Moron Mail: Special Lifetime Achievement Edition

A couple weeks ago, we featured a particularly stupid letter to the Strib from a particularly dim person.  This outrage addled bitty thought that describing a serial bank robber by the color of the clothing he typically wears while plying his trade was somehow racist (since the color of this clothing was black).  This led to a brief editorial crisis as - because we like to think we are not racists here at KAR - all manner of idiom or description might offend this whack job's tender sensibilities.  For example, we would no longer be able to describe certain mate-slaughtering spiders, moonless nights, name certain local political reporters, discuss certain Chicago hockey teams, recall ancient World Series baseball point-shaving scandals or wax poetic about the purported appearance of George Soros' soul.

But then we realized that was just stupid. So we gave the letter a good fisking and dispatched the results into the internet ether.  That was that, or so we thought.

Alert reader and Bob Mould lookalike Kevin, points out that this was not the first time the crack KAR editorial staff has encountered this person.

A little over 6 years ago beloved former KARnie Dementee fished this stinky eelpout of a letter out of the peat bog of the Pioneer Press letters page, written by the aforementioned outrage-addled bitty:

I recently tried to co-sign a loan with my daughter for a used car she was buying. I'm a stay-at-home mom and have five joint accounts at this bank. I have done business with the bank for over a decade.
 We were denied the loan, because I don't have an earned income. My husband had to be called in to co-sign the loan.

With all the talk about family values from the far right, who control the economy, banks and legislation, I find it interesting that they do not appreciate the value of stay-at-home mothers and make it impossible for us to access our own money. I thought we dealt with this in the '60s.

SOOZ GIBBONERS
Stillwater

Let fierce intellect of that baby just wash over you for a minute.

whooooooooshhhhhhh



HOW DARE THOSE EVIL BANKSTERS NOT GIVE LOANS (access to "my" money!!!) TO WOMYN WHO CAN'T DEMONSTRATE AN ABILITY TO PAY THEM BACK!!!1111!1!1!1 BLEARGH!!!111111 (*Drools on self*)

Anyway, Dementee gave thing an average fisking (I'd give it a 2.5 out of 4 nightsticks).  The interesting thing is that he ostensibly concludes his rant with the following line:
 
You can’t, Susan, because it ain’t there you stupid, stupid woman.
 
Compare to my recent fisking of her "Man in Black" letter:
 
"THE SWEATSHIRT THIS ROBBER USUALLY WEARS IS BLACK YOU STUPID STUPID MORON!!!!!!"
 
One of the promises I made to myself when I brought KAR back is to avoid gratuitous name-calling unless it had some higher humor-related purpose (and I believe that, in context, that pullquote qualifies).  But I think it's illuminating that two letters to the editor from the same woman, written 6 years apart, would elicit the rare use of the "Double Stupid" from two different bloggers who have never met each other over a gulf of 6 years.
 
Many scientists or mathematicians would call this conclusive proof of the proposition asserted.

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